TL;DR
In a Tiny Buddha essay, psychotherapist Steve Hauptman argues that choices often bring tradeoffs, and that an imperfect balance is not necessarily a failure. He illustrates the point with everyday conflicts and a hospital visit that left him waiting for tests after a possible transient ischemic attack was flagged.
Psychotherapist Steve Hauptman, writing for Tiny Buddha, says people cannot get every part of life right at once and argues that accepting the costs of choices can reduce the sense of failure that comes with competing demands. His essay uses a Rubik’s Cube as a metaphor for the tradeoffs among work, family, rest and personal goals.
Hauptman describes the pressure to make life cooperate as a desire for control, not simply a wish to direct other people. He says that the effort to secure one outcome can leave another area neglected. His examples include work success coming at the expense of family relationships, and attempts to manage difficult feelings through alcohol leading to a loss of control over drinking. These are examples from the essay, not findings from a study.
His central point is that every commitment carries an opportunity cost: time spent writing may mean chores wait, while a day devoted to housework may leave no time for writing. Hauptman says he used to treat the neglected task as evidence that he had failed. He now tries to see it instead as a reminder that he made a choice, and that saying yes to one thing often means saying no to another.
The essay closes with Hauptman’s account of a routine physical in which a cardiogram showed a “blip” that his doctor said might suggest a transient ischemic attack, or TIA. His doctor directed him to the emergency room. Hauptman says he felt fine, waited on a gurney for four hours while tests were run, canceled six client sessions and worried about his family and the cost. He says he eventually took a nap rather than reacting with anger or frustration. The essay does not provide the test results or a diagnosis.
The Cost of Trying to Do It All
The essay speaks to a familiar conflict: people often have limited time and energy but still judge themselves against the idea that every responsibility should be handled well at once. Hauptman’s account reframes unfinished tasks as part of prioritizing, rather than automatic proof of poor time management or personal failure. That distinction matters because the pressure to control outcomes can affect both daily choices and relationships.
Hauptman’s examples are personal reflections, not clinical evidence that accepting tradeoffs will resolve distress or addiction. Still, they make the essay’s practical message clear: acknowledging that choices have costs may help people respond to competing demands with less self-blame. His hospital story applies that idea to an unexpected disruption, while leaving the medical outcome separate from the broader reflection.
Hauptman’s Control Metaphor
Hauptman identifies himself as a “control addict,” a phrase he uses to describe the urge to make reality match one’s needs and expectations. He outlines three paradoxes in the essay: needing more control can make a person feel less in control; trying to control others can prompt them to push back; and gaining control in one area can require giving it up elsewhere.
He links the final paradox to familiar, competing priorities: professional work and family, health goals and enjoyable food, or household chores and creative projects. The essay’s title refers to the impossibility of keeping every side of a Rubik’s Cube in order at once. Hauptman is also the author of Monkeytraps: Why We Try to Control Everything and How We Can Stop, published in 2015; the supplied biography says a revised edition is forthcoming but gives no release date.
““The one thing I can’t do is everything.””
— Steve Hauptman, in the Tiny Buddha essay
Medical Outcome Not Reported
The essay does not say whether hospital tests confirmed a TIA, what the cardiogram finding meant, or what follow-up care Hauptman received. The doctor’s concern and the hospital evaluation are reported in Hauptman’s personal account; they do not establish a diagnosis. The supplied source also does not give the essay’s publication date or independent reporting that would verify the medical details.
No Follow-Up Date Provided
The source provides no scheduled follow-up, new announcement or next milestone for the essay. It says Hauptman’s book may receive a revised edition, but no publication date is given. Readers seeking the essay’s medical details would need a later account from Hauptman; the supplied material does not establish what happened after the hospital visit.
Key Questions
What is the main point of Hauptman’s essay?
Hauptman argues that people cannot meet every competing demand at once, and that choosing one priority often means letting another wait. He says that tradeoff does not automatically mean someone has failed.
What does the Rubik’s Cube represent?
It represents Hauptman’s effort to keep every part of life in order. He says that focusing on one area can leave another unfinished, much as solving one side of a cube does not put every side in order.
Did Hauptman say he had a TIA?
No. He says a cardiogram showed a blip that his doctor said might suggest a TIA, and that he went to the emergency room for tests. The essay does not report a confirmed diagnosis or test results.
Who is Steve Hauptman?
The source identifies Hauptman as a psychotherapist and author. His book Monkeytraps: Why We Try to Control Everything and How We Can Stop was published in 2015, according to the supplied biography.
Source: rss
